This morning, Queen B (no, not Beyoncé—Britney, bitch) announced on Instagram that’s she’s launching an intimates collection this fall (side note: That picture was heavily, heavily photoshopped). It’s called The Intimate Collection (creative!) and it will include vintage-inspired lingerie and casual sleepwear like camis and tap pants.
While we understand BritBrit needs to diversify her business—she’s not going to have that Vegas contract forever and all those Frappuccinos aren’t going to buy themselves—she could have gotten a lot more creative with the types of products she’s attaching her name to.
Not that she asked us, but if she had tapped us for merch ideas, these gems would be some of our starting points:
Lyrical Leggings
We brainstormed this idea, went to Britney’s website and were shocked to see that they already exist! One of our favorite articles of clothing—the legging—solely printed with Britney Spears song titles and lyrics. All jokes aside, active wear could be a huge market for Britney—that is pretty much all she wears.
Greeting Cards
“Bombastic Love,” “Don’t Let Me Be The Last To Know” and “Sometimes” all have some amazing Valentine’s lyrics. And what could be more perfect for a sweet sixteen than a “Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman” greeting card.
Inspirational Wine Glasses
The world knows that Britney “loves red wine,” so it makes total sense that she’d have a successful collection of inspirational wine glasses and champagne flutes. “Don’t you know that you’re toxic” is just waiting to be printed on a beer stein.
More Fragrances
Britney, don’t you know the number one rule of marketing? Fish where the fish are! You’ve already had so much success with your fragrances Curious: In Control, Fantasy Twist and Fantasy: The Nice Remix. Let’s expand that product category even further. Might we suggest: Fantasy: Vegas Black Out, Psychotherapy Radiance and Curious: Special Victims’ Unit.
Anything with the Phrase “Work Bitch”
A natural progression of “Oops, I Did It Again,” “Work Bitch” has become a jazzercise, boot-camp, spinning and Zumba anthem. A “Work Bitch” Collection of tank tops, leggings and baseball hats would be a number one money maker at Equinox Gym.
So now you know what to ask for from Santa this year. You're so welcome.
Images: Instagram, BritneySpears.com, Etsy
